Talk Like a Pirate

This is an important world wide service announcement from the coast!  Tomorrow, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.  This is not something you want to forget or ignore.

As a past observer of this important event, I am astutely aware of it’s importance and propriety in today’s world.  I’m not making this up, and not messing with you, look it up.  There is even a web site dedicated to the worship and observance.  This may have started out as a small cult, but it’s been growing year by year and as it grows, so does it’s gris gris.  (In Vodoun, or Voodoo, gris-gris resemble charms or talismans which are kept for good luck or to ward off evil) Therefore, it’s becoming increasingly important to observe this special day, no matter who you are.

Captain Bill Pirate King

Not sure just what all the rules and cosmic laws are regarding International Talk Like A Pirate Day, I went next door to confer with Bill on Falcor II.  Bill is the Sensei, the Guru, the Head Cheese, the Master at Arms, the Pirate King of the dock.  He advised that it’s really not that big a deal.  Though the official day is September 19, you have until midnight the last day of September while the moon is still aligned with Pladeas and all you have to do is publicly talk like a Pirate.  If that simple act is not performed, bad juju will wrap it’s self around you and bad things will happen until the vernal equinox.  Bill wasn’t specific about the “bad things” but implied that appendages may rot and fall off, hair loss, pimples, digestive malfunctions, lice, and a host of other plagues would most likely identify the nonbelievers who didn’t participate.

Captain Bill Consulting with Pirate Ghosts

With this in mind, lets all jump aboard and make sure that we fulfill our obligation to the brethren departed.  It’s really not that difficult.  The only letter of the alphabet you need is the letter “aaRRR”.  As a matter of fact, that’s the answer Bill gave to a lot of the questions I asked.  Remember to talk with a rasp from the back of your throat and kick in some nautical terms if you know any.  The website is a great resource of phrases to use.  Besides warding off bad juju, people will think you have lost your mind, and how could that be a bad thing?

This Saturday night, at the dock, we are having our annual Talk Like a Pirate Party to celebrate and comply with the dictates of the law.  The party always features a “grog” that everybody with any experience warns polliwogs not to drink, but everybody drinks it anyway and it’s always fun to see who throws up first and who can throw up most like a pirate.  I will send a report of the event,  presupposing that I survive.  Practice a little in private and then get out there and…….

Talk Like A Pirate